1 Nov 2008

A made up article::

Scientists grow hamburger in coffee cup.

Scientists from North Anglebury University last night completed the first known experiment in Hamburgification. Using the thoughts of an animal in Russia they merged the first four stands of a coffee bean's day off and extracted the origins of creation to fit into an Accrtty coffee cup. Growing the first hamburger in a coffee cup.

Dr. Weinemstrap yesterday said, "this is a milestone in human evolution, for the first time humans will be able to remain seated shortly after finishing their coffee, a hamburger will begin to grow which they can they eat where they are. Unlike previous hamburger to have been grown, this experiment was done so entirley with the thought alone of a remote cow and not the smell."

It is reported that in some time during the year 2010 coffeeburgerization will become normal in coffee shops and skate parks around the disco tech. This article is a mixture of the absurd and the norm. 

But what does this mean for winy complainy people who like to complain all the time?

Their days are short. The recent experiment drew outrage from local groups and Human rights activists who claim this experiment will, distort the natural order of space time hip hop burgers. They say that time itself will not allow for such a yellow submarine to enter into our diets, they also went on to say in an interview with channel 19828736127817236718726. "I'm hungry and my arguements are all silly contradictions." Their days are short.

The history of Coffeeburgification.

The first experiments in coffeeburgification, the muslims did it and it failed because the polaroid was too into what the screen was telling them to say. After years of communing with cows they grew wise of our techniques and decided to flee.

Dr. Weinemstrap seen here, invisible, said something incredible clever and probably true but who really cares, or understands that stuff. When it comes down to eating we generally will eat whats before us, as a gift or convienence, who turns down convienience. Thats not what I meant to say, what I meant to say was. I WANT TO EAT YOUR BRAIN!!. No not that either, what I meant to write to whoever wants to take this seriously is that it's hard to write a spoof article nowadays without being biased. So buy more peanuts. 

Conclusion

Coffeeburgerization is perfectly normal and healthy, you are going to love these new coffeeburgers. You are free. 

Jaie Miller, The fishytimes.

4 comments:

kinkylube said...

most interesting!

C.J.Duffy said...

If you ate my brain you would die of lack of interest.

Jaie said...

LOL!!

TICTAC said...

:-))))
great article jaie! quite amusing too..

i wonder if Dr. Weinemstrap had worked for mcdonalds, they seem to grow all sort of things inside their coffe cups...hmmm...