Frothy Dog Solution

I am looking for a dog who will give me devotion
One who eats beef and has a regular bowel motion.
A pointy eared mutt with large cannine teeth
Who is hairy on his back and hairy underneath.
I’ll take him on long walks across the Hackney marshes
Where he can urinate up a tree and defecate on the grasses.
I will not call him Rover as my dog’s a real male hero
I will not call him Jasper or Rom as he will be a Nero .
Together we will live in my concrete block on high
And both us will smell a lot and fart at the sky.
And if the methane levels rise beyond a high pollution
I will run us both a bubble bath made of frothy dog solution.